Busy?

Family Business Meetings Can Help Prioritize

When life gets busy, as it does most noticeably in the fall, it’s easy to lose track of time and purpose. One practical way to maintain your family’s priorities is to hold regular family business meetings with your spouse. This is a great communication tool whether or not you have children.

Here’s an agenda to get you started:

Schedules
Pull out your personal day planners or PDA’s. If you don’t have one yet, now’s the time to get one. You don’t have to wait until the beginning of a new year; FranklinCovey makes planners that begin in July, October, January, and April. If you have children, you’ll also want a master family calendar. Post it in a central location in your home, and make sure the information listed there concurs with any other individual calendars.

Review the upcoming week to alleviate schedule conflicts or other surprises. Talk about your plans for the week: scheduled appointments, activities, events, and errands. You might find ways to save time by delegating, trading, or combining errands. Now is also an opportune time to schedule "couple time" (you know, real dates) even if it means planning a few weeks in advance.

If one of you is anticipating an unusually busy week, planning how to handle it will benefit both of you. If you’re the busy one who needs help covering responsibilities, it’s much easier (and more considerate) to ask for help ahead of time than when you’re tired and low on patience. Similarly, if you’re the one being asked for help, it’s usually easier to cooperate and offer help when you have some advance notice.

Looking at the week as a whole can help you look objectively at how you spend your time, and, help you decide whether it’s better to let go of some of those plans. After a few weeks of these schedule reviews, you might discover patterns that you want to change.

"Discuss" folder
Many of the papers that accumulate in the kitchen are items you want your spouse to see, yet quite a few of them are not urgent. Rather than greeting each other at the door with these discussions, designate a "Discuss" folder. This holds information and decisions that require collaboration but can wait until your next scheduled meeting.

Finances
Money tends to be one of the biggest sources of strain in a marriage: how much you need, how it’s spent, how many hours you need to work to get it, etc. Regularly reviewing your financial status encourages better understanding and cooperation.

Appreciation
Think over the past week and notice what you might have left unnoticed. Compliment or thank your spouse for something you appreciated about what he or she said or did—or even just remind them of a quality you admire or are thankful for in them.

"Don’t let the sun go down on your anger" is wise advice. Gently resolve anything that was not handled well earlier. "I’m sorry for the way I…" is a good icebreaker. Similarly, if something has been bothering you, address the issue considerately. Often it’s simply a misunderstanding or a matter of point of view or perspective. Whatever the case, clearing it up will help you move forward with the new week.

Commit to the next meeting
Set a standing weekly meeting time, and allow only rare exceptions for rescheduling. Choose a day and time when you’re fairly well rested and open to discussion. Sunday evenings work well for many couples, and it helps get the week off to a good start.

Plan for a one-hour meeting. If you feel like your meetings are running too long, go ahead and put time limits on the agenda items that tend to lead to off-topic discussions. If your schedule is so full that you can’t find an hour a week to keep your family’s priorities in line, you probably need to take a hard look at how you’re spending your time. Once you establish one-on-one meetings with your spouse, you can introduce similar meetings with your kids.

09/10/07  By Jennifer Swanson